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Hockey Newsletter - November 21, 2000

New World Order

One word: Relegation. It works for the biggest sport on the planet (soccer) and it's about blinking time the NHL came around to this method of rewarding/punishing teams.

Right now, the NHL is made up of 5 divisions, based on Money, Management Structure and Whimsy. The first is the We Have Lots Of Money And Our Owner/GM/Coach Is Top Quality division. It includes Toronto, NY Rangers, Washington, St. Louis, Detroit, Colorado and Dallas.

Then there's the We Have No Money Whatsoever But Our Owner/GM/Coach Keeps Us Competitive division. Members are Ottawa, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, New Jersey and Edmonton.

Of course, there's the We Have Lots Of Money But Our Owner/GM/Coach Are
Complete Clowns division, headed up by Philadelphia, Carolina, Tampa Bay,
Florida, Chicago and Los Angeles.

Then the sad, pathetic We Have No Money Whatsoever And Our Owner/GM/Coach Are Complete Clowns division. No guessing games here: Boston, Montreal, Islanders, Vancouver and Calgary.

And finally, the Bettman Division, where there are no rules about how the teams got there or where they're going and who cares if there are no fans watching? We've covered every North American market! Atlanta, Nashville, Columbus, San Jose, Minnesota (the sequel), Phoenix and Anaheim.

So why not just treat this structure as the real deal? If the teams in each of these divisions had to fight to stay where they were -- or, in the sad n' pathetic case, to perform their way out of the dungeon -- don't you think hockey would be better?

If you're in the elite first division, don't you think it's better for the fans if you play teams of equal strength? And if the awful Habs only played against the other awful teams in their division, the great hockey fans in Montreal would rebel and not show up to games until management did something...

Um, okay maybe that's a bad example.

But look at it this way: last year the Rangers were in the We Have Lots Of Money But Our Owner/GM/Coach Are Complete Clowns division. This year Sather and Low have led them up the ladder to the first division. Make the divisions mean something, for goodness' sake. And shame those teams who don't think it's important to keep the audience happy.


Ouch! Volume 3
Okay, we don't want to hit the league over the head with this issue, but the following players are out of action, suffering from concussions:

Rhett Warrener
Steve Smith
Phil Housley
Adam Deadmarsh
Joe Hulbig
Garry Galley
Keith Jones
Mark Smith

True, Phoenix winger Brad 'Mayday' May is out on a 20-game suspension for smacking Steve Heinze in the head with his stick, but is it all about stickwork?

There are so many other ways the league and the Players' Ass. should be protecting these guys: make 'em tighten their chin straps; call icing when the puck goes over the goal line; take a look at those elbow pads made out of space-age titanium. We've lost too many great players to early concussive retirement. Come on, Mr. Bettman, there are 30 rosters to keep filled, so we need these guys to play many long healthy years!


Who's hot
The Lindros-less, LeClair-less Philadelphia Flyers. Since Mark Recchi and Keith Primeau have rested their aching noggins, Bob "don't call me Bobby" Clark's pack of underachieving orangemen have made CTVSportsnet.com's collective face red. Over the past 12 games, they have lost only 2.

The big story, though, is Czech goalie Roman Cechmanek. No, we haven't heard of him either, but this guy's on a four-game winning streak for the big club, taking the number one spot away from Brian Boucher (he is sooo last year!)

Can these guys keep it up? We'll see. There's still lots of time for Clark to make a mess of things again.

Who's not
Remember all those decades when Richard then Beliveau then Lafleur then Roy led those goshdarn Montreal Canadiens to one Stanley Cup after another? Remember when all those Montreal fans would rub it in your face about how awful (YOUR TEAM HERE) was compared to Les Glorieux?

It's payback time!

The Montreal Canadiens are the worst team in the NHL. An NHL with two new teams. Four, really, if you still count Atlanta and Nashville. Last year the boys in tricoleur made a brave attempt to salvage a ridiculous injury-filled season by finishing strong, just 2 points out of the playoffs. Alain Vigneault was even a candidate for Coach of the Year for his rallying efforts.

This year, it's just plain over. Rejean Houle has FINALLY been fired. Shouldn't that have happened the day after he let Mario Tremblay stay and Patrick Roy go? And in his wake, Coach Vigneault is out of work too. We feel sorry for him, but not everyone in the CTVSportsnet.com fan forum does.

YABA DABA DOO! is the first to sound off:

"O.K., O.K. So they made a few changes today. I'm glad Houle and Vigneault are both gone. Some may say A.V. should have been kept on. I disagree, he is not the reason why the Habs had a good finish last year. Almost everyone knows that the fill in Captain at that time Mr. Corson had a lot to do with it. So let's give credit where credit is due. The present team in my opinion has and will continue to have injuries. There is a reason why the Habs keep getting hurt. It has nothing to do with bad luck. It has to do with training, and the training and practise scheduled are derived from the Coach himself not by the players nor the G.M. nor the outspoken fans themselves. We the fans did not push the players to the brink, no it was Mr. A/V and his coaching style...so my point is Vigneault drove the players to where they are injured and often turned off and tuned out."

If you want to rant or just say a big "NYA NYA NYA!! HA HA SUCKED OUT, YOU MONTREAL WEASELS!" do so at:

[retired link]


Huh?
Just when constant pain-in-the-butt Bill Guerin was getting comfortable on the frosty Edmonton frontier, they send the guy to Beantown. What's more, the Oilers end up with current hold-out whiney-pants Anson Carter. None of this seems to make sense, considering Guerin, Ryan Smyth and Doug Weight had become the best trio in the NHL. CTVSportsnet.com's Jake Daniel had a thing or 2 to say about the trade:

"The Weight-Smyth-Guerin line had people in Oil Town pumped up like a 1970s-vintage Russian weightlifter, and now the immediacy of the team's success has been forestalled yet again by the demons of economics."