Thornton with two n's (November 2002)
I'm cranky. Maybe not Andre Savard cranky, but I sure am cranky. Why? It's not any one thing in particular making me grumpy, it's a bunch of little things. It's everything. For instance I didn't get my snow tires on in time for the first mucky drive of the year. I hate that. And I got a soaker too and I hate having wet socks. Cold, damp feet sure can put me in a mood. And I'm in one.
Another thing, I'm sick and tired of sports and hockey broadcasters mispronouncing names. Especially Joe Thornton's name. Now Joe is not related to me but we do share a last name and let me tell you if I hear one more play-by-play guy call him Thorton I'm going to scream! It doesn't rhyme with Horton, Norton or Fortin, fellas, there's an "N" in the middle and don't forget it! You wouldn't call Mike Johnson "Mike Johson" would you? Sheesh, what's so hard about saying Thorn - ton?
And then there are the potholes. Potholes make me crazy. Especially when I can't see them because there's snow covering them and then I drive over them clunkity-clunk and skid to the curb because I don't have my darn snow tires on yet. It's like the Habs this season. More bumps in the road than anyone is comfortable with.
(For the record, dumb sports analogies make me cranky too, but it's my column and I'm going with it.)
This season has been frustrating. For the fans, the coaches, the media and the management, watching the Canadiens has been agony. Not because they're Buffalo-bad or Atlanta-awful, but because they're so blinking inconsistent. They win a big one, then lose two in a row. They tie, then tie again, get blown out, and then shine the next night. If anyone has had to endure a Philadelphia Mummers Parade, you'll know what I'm talking about. An unrelenting musical march starring a bunch of clowns whose famous dance is the "one step forward and two steps back until the end of time" dance. Ugh! Is that what we're in for this season? No wonder Savard was cranky last weekend.
After Montreal's embarrassing 5-1 loss to the Devils last week, Savard and Coach Michel Therrien had the now infamous closed-door "chat" with the team. They must have seen what we all have been seeing for a year or so now. Too many shots given up. Getting to the puck late. Sloppy defence. Dubious offence. And crummy special teams to boot.
The boys responded that night. They came out flying, winning the battles on the boards, beating New Jersey to the puck every time, eventually winning the game. Phew! And then their next game on Monday night against the Penguins, they scored three powerplay goals and a shorthanded marker. And they even beat Super Mario in 4-on-4 overtime hockey! Hurrah! We're all happy again!
Not me. I still don't like it. And I think I know why. The Montreal Canadiens get caught up in their own cuddliness. They get away with being the "aw shucks" underdogs too often, and we allow them to do that. We're happy to see them win just enough, just barely enough to stay in the top eight in the east. So Koivu got a hat trick. So Donald Audette has broken out of his slump. So the Habs pulled off a big OT win. I refuse to be sucked into a celebration because I can't forget that they blew the lead three times. That they were outshot 33-25. That they gave up four powerplay goals.
That should not be good enough to win. They need to be angry and cranky every night, not just once in a while. They've been darn lucky this year playing most nights without heart and soul. How else do you explain the mental meltdowns in their own end resulting in a barrage of rubber for the goalies to face night after night? They shouldn't even be in contention. The Canadiens forget how to play hockey and I'm tired of their "just hang on and we might tie or maybe even win" attitude. We need to feel 'Andre Savard angry' every game. They need to feel that winning is a battle; they've got to play with that anger.
Two wins in a row are nice, but they better start thinking about three in a row, or four. Ottawa, Pittsburgh, Washington and even the Rangers and the Panthers are just a point or two behind. This is no time for fun. It's time to get cranky and to stay cranky. It's sure working for me.